...This morning...
these are the words that came out...
"...lu tau gak klo lu dah gak ada harga diri lagi...
semua demi temen, jam berapa telp juga di ladenin,
diajak kemana juga ayo...sampe gak ada uang sepeser juga...
habis berhamburan...gak jelas...dah dibantuin setengah mati...
gak sadar juga...udah kayak cewe panggilan ajah!!..."
but then I just smile again to hear those words...
'till when she will treat me like a kid??
I can just listen and keep silence...
I do tired with all of these...I can really just leap...
stay away from these world and just be at home....
if that's my way then...make it happend then...
*sigh
*sigh a nice yet sad week end...
how am I gonna start?
start from saturday I guess...
doing things and finished up everything for the stamp.
there's a tingle inside that he made all up again..
but he's not even say anything...
then I went to Pasar Minggu,
plan to go to the church gone..
since its raining hard, then just stayed there
till the rain is over, but then rhe's sms me
he told me that he wants to come over to Depok with me...
oh well, then...I'm going there...
talked to Rex a bit,
but then he went to sleep...
watch the Italion Job...which is a good movie..
can't sleep 'till 3 AM...help him looked for a porn CD...
geezzz....its not in the room anymore...
so, there we go makin' our own movie...
*sigh...it was great actually but there's sumthin' missing
already...I guess its because all the things he did...
makes me hard even not to trust him again...
but as the morning come, I REVEALED everything!!!
he just did it again, how in the hell he took advantage from me again
after all this things I did for HIM...
how ungratefull person on earth??
he's the one that make mistake...
its all his fault...but he's the one that angrier...
hahah..I guess his dignity as a guy being...you know...
oh well, I dun care...I just turn myself back to the opposite way...
then took a taxi, which is make everything so damn irritating...
since these campaign on the street...geezzz.....
Stay's at Ragunan house a bit,
call Rina up and Sis up...then...its all cancelled...
since I have to go home...Dad waiting for me for grandma b'day
party at Bekasi, here we go went to Bekasi...
with a unexpected company from a very nice friend of mine...:)
he's there when I need a person...and I'm blessed to have him stayed with me...
talked with dad a bit...then we just went home...
Dad didn't say a word, but I dunno what happend when I went to bed...
its just a very tiring, happy yet still there's a missing piece...
*sigh...I dunno what else I should do...
then I just went to sleep...
Ibuku selalu bertanya padaku apa bagian tubuh yang paling penting.
Bertahun-tahun, aku selalu menebak dengan jawaban yang aku anggap benar.
Ketika aku muda, aku pikir suara adalah yang paling penting bagi kita sebagai manusia, jadi aku jawab, "Telinga, Bu."
Jawabnya, "Bukan. Banyak orang yang tuli. Tapi, teruslah memikirkannya dan aku menanyakanmu lagi nanti."
Beberapa tahun kemudian sebelum dia bertanya padaku lagi. Sejak jawaban pertama, kini aku yakin jawaban kali ini pasti benar. Jadi, kali ini aku memberitahukannya, "Bu, penglihatan sangat penting bagi semua orang, jadi pastilah mata kita." Dia memandangku dan berkata, "Kamu belajar dengan cepat, tapi jawabanmu masih salah karena banyak orang yang buta."
Gagal lagi, aku meneruskan usahaku mencari jawaban baru dan dari tahun ke tahun, Ibu terus bertanya padaku beberapa kali
dan jawaban dia selalu, "Bukan. Tapi, kamu makin pandai dari tahun ke tahun, anakku."
Akhirnya tahun lalu, kakekku meninggal. Semua keluarga sedih. Semua menangis. Bahkan, ayahku menangis.
Aku sangat ingat itu karena itulah saat kedua kalinya aku melihatnya menangis.
Ibuku memandangku ketika tiba giliranku untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal pada kakek.
Dia bertanya padaku, "Apakah kamu sudah tahu apa bagian tubuh yang paling penting, sayang?"
Aku terkejut ketika Ibu bertanya pada saat seperti ini. Aku sering berpikir, ini hanyalah permainan antara Ibu dan aku.
Ibu melihat kebingungan di wajahku dan memberitahuku, "Pertanyaan ini penting. Ini akan menunjukkan padamu apakah
kamu sudah benar-benar "hidup". Untuk semua bagian tubuh yang kamu beritahu padaku dulu, aku selalu berkata kamu salah dan aku telah memberitahukan kamu kenapa. Tapi, hari ini adalah hari di mana kamu harus belajar pelajaran yang sangat penting."
Dia memandangku dengan wajah keibuan. Aku melihat matanya penuh dengan air mata. Dia berkata, "Sayangku, bagian tubuh yang paling penting adalah bahumu."
Aku bertanya, "Apakah karena fungsinya untuk menahan kepala?"
Ibu membalas, "Bukan, tapi karena bahu dapat menahan kepala seorang teman atau orang yang kamu sayangi ketika mereka menangis. Kadang-kadang dalam hidup ini, semua orang perlu bahu untuk menangis. Aku cuma berharap, kamu punya cukup kasih sayang dan teman-teman, agar kamu selalu punya bahu untuk menangis kapan pun kamu membutuhkannya."
Akhirnya, aku tahu, bagian tubuh yang paling penting adalah tidak menjadi orang yang mementingkan diri sendiri.
Tapi, simpati terhadap penderitaan yang dialami oleh orang lain.
Orang akan melupakan apa yang kamu katakan...
Orang akan melupakan apa yang kamu lakukan...
Tapi, orang TIDAK akan pernah lupa bagaimana kamu membuat mereka lebih berarti
================
thanks for all friends that have been my shoulder to cry on...
each and everyone of you are precious...
especially YOU that have been 'with' me for the past 2 weeks..
thanks for the request over the radio...
you're the 1st one ever did that to me..*blush
thanks for all the poems you wrote...
thanks for the ear that listens
and also your shoulder to cry on...
I'm glad that I becoming part of your life *smile
Kaskus kayaknya down lagi...
gak tau mo ngapain...
yesterday been bz with phone calls...
I hardly breath...geezzz...hate it when there's and advertising...
oh well...
this morning feel so depressed...dunno why
seems the whole energy been taken while I'm sleeping...
I need to recharge my energy...dunno how too...
but still have to go to work this morning
*sigh..
the credit card person called remind me that
I almost reach my credit limit...geessss...all most of 'em
because of prepaid card for cell phone...
have to stop it tho...
yet I need more money to pay 'em...hiks...
RENUNGAN PAGI
Jumat, 26 Maret 2004
Dan karena ketidakpercayaan mereka,
tidak banyak mujizat diadakan-Nya di situ.
( Matius 13:58 )
Mujizat .
Siapa yang belum pernah mendengarnya ..... ?
Namun .....
Sudahkah kita mengalaminya .....
Dalam hidup kita ..... ?
Sebetulnya .
Seberapa besar kita mempercayainya .....
Bahwa itu semua bisa terjadi .....
Dalam hidup kita ..... ?
Pada saat ini ..... ?
Atau .
Haruskah itu hanya terjadi .....
Pada masa lalu ..... ?
Di tempat lain ..... ?
Dan untuk orang lain ..... ?
Tuhan memberkati.
PD Imanuel -jh-
satu malam sepi...
aku terbangun...seperti biasa...
entah apa yang mengganggu
kembali ku teringat dirimu dengannya
TOLOL dan BODOH memang...
jika penyakit bernama cemburu itu meraja
kembali dalam hati...
hanya tangisan lirih yang tertumpah
tanpa sadar telah terurai...
ANJING!!
Aku harus dapat lepas dari semua ini...
dan aku tau...
ada dia membantuku di luar sana...
malaikat penjagaku
dan juga matahari yang ceriakan hariku
Entah harus ku hargai dengan apa
semua itu....
aku hanya dapat memberinya senyum
untuk saat ini...
...tidak lebih...
hiks..I still cried last nite
Woke up in the middle of the nite
with this unbalance feelings
and the tears just falls.
I dunno what should I do...
sumtimes I hate this feeling of mine
that keep telling the truth what's in front of me
even before the situation occur...
If happening with friends...
sumtimes the won't listen...but then I said so
already...but this is mine...
Its about someone I belong...
Kenapa seh orang gak pernah bersyukur
atas apa yang dia punya saat ini??
Can't say no more...
Dimanakah kau awan kecilku
kuulang hari dalam detak waktu
setia menanti tabah menjalani seperti hidup yang tak juga mati
seperti sungai yang tak henti mengalir
Dimanakah kau awan kecilku
kugenggam mimpi dalam bilik hati
mengendap dalam kalbu satu di derap jantungku
seperti bumi yang selalu berputar
seperti matahari yang selalu bersinar
Dimanakah kau awan kecilku
kutunggu kau dalam Sewindu ...
dalam hati ...
By Gatorz
Anjing tuh cewe...
masih juga janjian...
dasar lakinya jg kali gatelan...
bete banget!!
Ribut tadi siang gak guna ternyata...
masih juga di lakonin...
ya udah kalo emang maunya gitu terserah...
sex in the morning
means nothing...just another excercises...
divert all his call...then...
we'll see about it...
Andre told me that I will stay put,
but I made my decision already...
that I'll be gone...
...slowly...
but SURE....
just wait...
hope you're doing much better
without me telling all this shit
just for your own good...
have fun with that bitch!!
TAI!!
YOU SON OF A BITCH...
KURANG APA SEH???
GILAA...PAKE ACARA BOHOOOONGGG TRUS2AN
KALO DAH KAYAK GINI MO APA??
CINTA? GAK ADA LAGIIII..HILANGGGGG
CUMA YANG ADA KASIHAAANNN
SEMOGA BAHAGIA DEH...
YANG DIPANGGILIN TIAP HARI
YANG ADA DIOTAK TIAP HARI
SAMPE SALAH TRUS....
MEI PERGI...PELAN-PELAN KAYAK DEBU....
hihihi...wut a dissaster last nite...
I locked myself out from my own room...
I dunno wut happend tho...but thank god
that my bro still awake...
so, we're like bunch of buglar try to enter the room
from the window...hihih...
finally, I get in...geess...no more tragedy at midnite
too many things happend yesterday...
cried again like...ehmm I dunno...
things that can make me sad is a friend,
things that can make me cry is negative thinking,
things that can make me devastated can do anything to help others
especially those people that I care about...*hiks
my heart stray like broken glass...
when I heard her scream on the other line yesterday
calling his dad to come home...
she's only 2½ years old, but she already knows the word 'kangen'
what can I doo... hiks..I wish I have the money to help you dear...
I just thank god that its not that blood fever you had...
soon, your dad will be there...dun worry ok, sweetheart.
sabar yah miftah sayang...
minggu depan ayah pasti pulang...
doain ajah...tante tau miftah kangen ayah...
ayah juga kangen koq sama miftah...
karna miftah pinter...miftah sabar yah...:)
doain ajah minggu depan miftah bisa ketemu ayah...
Tante sayang Miftah...*cium jauh*
sekarang terserah deh...
maunya apa!!
gile bete banget...ditelponin gak nyaut2...
emang seberapa seh volume telp?
sampe gak denger...bohong amad!!
trus pake acara nyebut-nyebut DIAH!!!
ngapain seh??
kalo emang dah put up with me...
FINE!!
give it all a break,...no wonder that you want me
not to come so often...so you can lay back and sweet talked other girls..
then go ahead...I had fun myself too...
SHIT!!
Lokasi: Office
++ Kaos turtle neck coklat tua, celana panjang coklat bergaris, selendang batik aksen coklat sepatu sendal coklat pesenan ++
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Its a brown Monday I guess...hehehe...
hmm...there's sumthin' going on again with my body
I dunno why...I feel so powerless this morning
but I got control of my body...so I ask my brain to wake up
my body, so I can get up and get ready to work...
geess...dun feel like get up..
I know I'm doing my chores yesterday...
but I dun think its going to be that exhausted,
ask my bro to drive me to work...thank god he's home
hopefully he won't forget to pick me up again this afternoon
I feel like staying at home and rest...
Kayaknya kistanya mulai lagi deh...
as I'm takin' this spirulina pills to reduce its size
I hope this going to work...since I dun want to take
the surgery...and I hope the tumor will be gone..
be gone from my body...pls...
*sigh hope everythin' will be great on Friday,
and also with the discussion...
I just want everything to work out FINE!!
Lokasi : Office
++ Kaos tangan buntung Tommy Hilfiger, celana panjang jeans, sendal :D ++
:::::::::::::::::::::::
He gave me a call around 2 a.m. make my eyes wide awake after that,
not even 5 mins he called, but still woke me up from my blisfull dream..*sigh
then again when I'm about to enter the realm, another sms came...
I'm not whining about it, the thing is I still have to work today,
and its almost dawn already, but I can't close my eyes...
its gonna be a dreadful morning....but thank god IT'S NOT!!
even I feel very ALIVE and SPIRITED today...
arrrived too early at the office on saturday...
Hope this feeling of excitement will remain today...:)
I'm thinkin' going to the campus, meet ol' friends...
probably its gonna be a nice hang out...*sigh
but dunno yet...we'll see about it later on...
Lokasi: Office
++ Kemeja biru donker, celana panjang hitam, sendal dari Nat ++
::::::::::::::::::
Well, looking thru the Andre's Blog...
find sumthin' interesting to read at BB17...what a discussion
this morning been bz...running up and down..
but finally it settled now...and the good thing is they raise our transport and meal money
YEEEYY!!
chatting with Jalu for a while before he went to bed..
and a wonderful Int'l call from bluw... what a surprised!! *hugss
also, an sms from cap reporting where he will spend his saturday on the west
have a great time then...
while I'm still thinkin' why I can't get hold of andrew
and maya been bz too...also there's no response also from John
so I guess, I decided to go on with my own will and help from other fellow kaskuser
I'm planning to start a meeting next week...
hope around Friday March 19th...they can come...
hmm...the place I still have to find a nice place tho...
There's a nice pizza near tebet, hope they know where it is...
I have to draw a map tho...
have to find the map now...
Lokasi: Office
++ Kemeja Ungu, celana bahan abu², sendal bata ++
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
SUPERSEMAR, Supposed to be my Mom and Dad Anniversary
Its March 11, the campaign start today..
hope there's nothin' bad will happen
I think I'm loosing my writing skill
since its been a long time that I haven't write *sigh
but I'm practising now, writing all these blogs I have
hopefully it will back to normal again...
Dunno what to feel today,
sad, angry but try to be cool outside
since I dunno what to tell and to feel anymore
about his stupid character, which show me how fickle it is
human feelings...*sigh
how can you spend that money just for a liquor??
while you need that for sumthin' MORE important??
geezzzz...there's a saying boys will be boys...
but this is too much...you're whining about being broke
but when you got some then you just spent it for....FUN???
ARRGGH!!
Just grow up will ya??
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your
smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one,
so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting
and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else
and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know!
But some of us have all right friends and good.....
They have chosen Mungil's blog as blog of the month :)
waaaa....
thank you...thank you...
muaachh...muachh...
*hugs prizz n reree
=============
Lokasi = Kantor
++ Sweater biru pupus corak putih, celana panjang coklat muda, high heels ++
::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;
Brrrr...berangkat ada matahari terik, setengah jalan ujan lagi...
untung jalanan gak gitu padat n cuma 10 menit dah sampe kantor,
padahal rasanya telattt banget...
Its been a while, Iya...not talking to you...but now I'm here...
there's alot to tell...
Met Kodogijo n Mimi_Hitam last saturday...*sigh
can't spent a nite since mimi have to work again...geezzz...
oh well, just keep in mind that you have to take a rest sumtime...
RENUNGAN PAGI
Senin, 08 Maret 2004
Inilah penghiburanku dalam sengsaraku,
bahwa janji-Mu menghidupkan aku.
( Mazmur 119 : 50 )
Tetapi .
Bila janji Tuhan pun .....
Tak mampu lagi menghiburkan kita .
Adakah lagi yang lain .....
Yang dapat kita harapkan . ?
Atau .....
Jangan-jangan .....
Kita yang tidak tahu .
Bahwa ada "janji Tuhan" untuk kita ...... ?
Atau .
Kita tahu .....
Tapi tak ambil peduli ...... ?
Tuhan memberkati.
PD Imanuel -jh-
PRANKS!! damn I hate it!!
Just can't believe how can people do that..
thank god that I haven't gave him my account #
if not..oh well... nothin' gonna happened that big tho
since I got no money on my account
but still, he said it's 10 millions...WOHOOOO!!
the reaction should be like that...
but too bad its just PRANKS!!!
whoever you are...hope you're burn in hell...
so, guys be carefull of that kinda lousy sms
