JUST....ERRR....

I dun like feel writing in English today, even I know its been a week already since my last entry. BUt I guess my fingers just keep on typing and typing. Still I dun feel like to write anything. Seems that alot of things happend for the few days...

Something that makes my heart, my soul and my mind go blue. Can't think of anything except to pray and just surrender to the almighty.

Started from the arguments with mom, and the way she said things to me really makes me realize that she just missed me. While I missed my own time out there, hanging out with my old friends, catching up with 'em rather than talking on the phone. I dunno, its just those moments in life I guess...
But still my mom can't understand that. That morning I told her that I have a life outside this house. I mad at her. I really do. I just can't help it anymore, can't even eat my breakfast.

I wish that I can just dissapear and just pack up my bag and out! I just want to be free, be trusted in whatever I'm doing at the moment. I'm old enough. Enough to know which right or wrong, mom. I know that I can't be pregnant before I finally get married. I won't do that to you! And I know that I'm your last hope for not stumble into that temptation. I perfectly understand that.

And thank God, He still protect me and He loves me enough not to let me fall for another sinful acts. He reminds me to this fight with mom, that its been sometimes that I don't talk to him. I try to shut him from my life. I dun want him to pry in my life. But I guess that a stupid thoughts.

I miss you, Father. You're the best thing that ever happend to my life. You gave me life. Even if its not perfect like in a fairy tale, but I do love my life and please come back to my life. I hope you don't mind me asking you again...

I'm so sorry that I dissapointed you. I know you never abandoned me, its just me I guess, being afraid to show my face in front of you, after all what I did.

Before I make my confession, I dun think I can face you, but I can't wait anymore. I just missed talking to you. So, I came to you yesterday. Thank you for being so nice and welcome me into your house, Father. I found my peace inside my heart already. And I will try to keep it, the way you want it.