When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

Dr. Lannis - Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Originally taken from St. Augustine

The above quote is just a reminder, about being happy and in love.

In this crazy world of fast and instant things, sometimes one really needs to lay back. Just to stepped back a bit and looking back to the road we took. Some people said, don’t look back. But, sometimes that’s all we need. To look back at the things we’ve done in the past. Of course, you can’t change your past, for sure. However, to me remembering the past is good as a real thing reminder. When it’s bad, you can figure out why and learn to be better. When it’s good then something that you can treasure and remember for the rest of your life. Something you can tell to your descendants, as a legend.

*grinning*

Even I’m smiling as I’m writing this now. Remembering all the good and happy times, I had.

According to my opinion, being in love is one of the greatest moments in someone’s life. It’s the wonderful feelings, butterflies, flushes, laughter and togetherness. As the time goes, those tools really work things out. Some people thought being in love is just about all the mushy and juicy. I guess, it's not. Fights, being pissed and sadness are include in the love-package.

Sometimes one just has to realize it again, and start to ask the simple question that usually forgotten.

“Are you happy with your life?”

Of course, the question is referring to life itself. Will one be happy with or without any life partner at one side?

Why don’t you - readers – try to ask the question to yourself? Who knows something really good and great will happen soon to your life.

Don’t complaint, ‘cause whatever that is, not going to make your life easier. But, smile a lot and feel happy, and then the people around you will feel the positive energy and love being around you. You’ll never know if there’s actually someone out there already keep an eye on you, just like one’s prey. Just wait for the right time and the right moment to hit you and BAM!!

I got you! *big grin*

It’s easy dealing with love, if you’d say so,
And it’s hard dealing with it, if you’d say so too.

The choice always comes back to ourselves, whether we want the hard ways or the easy ways. Sometimes people just don’t realize about this. They’re just go blind about everything regarding to love matter. Then, when you try to look back, it’s not necessary have to be the way you wanted too.

Sometimes, it just happens. Either you want it too or not. You just have to accept the feelings –negative or positive – you’ve got. No matter how strange the feeling you feel, it’s there.

Therefore, when it comes to funny feelings and it's kinda make you being silly, just embrace it! Wouldn’t hurt you if it’s not kill you, right? *wink*

So, just don't be afraid to fall in love and being out of love, 'cause it will soon presence itself in front of you. Whenever you're ready to embrace it...



Note:
Happy Birthday, Dhimas aka KulDab! I can't give you anything, just not yet, but this one note definitely a b'day gift for you!

Gambar diambil disini

So, I finished reading ‘em all.

But, I got a confession to make. First time I saw the movie, I didn’t know that it’s taken from a best-selling novel by Stephenie Meyer. Can’t you believe it? *grinning*

Well, it’s true though. I’m interested to watch it because I read the synopsis. The idea about a vampire falls in love with a human, fascinate me. I don't know, IF it’s going to be like one of those teenage movies, complete with all the drama. Yet, it's still interesting, despite the distractions that occurred. *Boss called during the show*

After a while, I realized it. The movie actually based on a novel. So, I'm starting to find the next book to be read. At first, I only got the translation one, so I rented it. Then again, thanks to a wonderful friend that was willing to give me the e-book. *Thanks Cupcake!* I start to downloaded ‘em and can’t stopped reading it after it’s finished.

Now, here I am, trying to find another book to be read again.

I mentioned about reading more than a thousand pages of novel, before. Well, this is it, the novel about the TWILIGHT SAGA. To be honest, I didn't read the first book. Since I already watched the movie, but I still want to buy ALL of the series. I guess, those are pretty good for another books collection.

Or is there anyone out there, would like to buy the book for me? Let's say as a V-day present? *giggles* I think a girl can wish *wide grin*

Any one read ‘em yet? Translation or the English one? Let’s share! :)

Lately, I haven’t been able to write anything. ‘Cause I’m sorta preoccupied with these serial novels *I'll tell it about this one later*. I’m sorry. For the past months, I’ve been using more of my English than I’m using my Indonesian. As usual, this situation kinda makes me ‘lost’ the ability to write in Indonesian, *sound silly? It is!*. I could, but the result will not really as satisfying as I want to.

That’s why I’m writing this one in English :)

It’s the overwhelmed feeling to be able to write again. There are lots that I want to share. But for the moment I’m just going to grasp the feeling of contentment. Feeling of abundance and feeling so good towards everything.

Those are the good feelings, I know. Nothing would make me feel this way again, rather than to think about the future. What I’ve been planning all these time. Finally there’s an answer within myself that really agree with my decision.

I’m thinking going back to the States :)

A friend already offers me to visit her and she’s willing to help me out, when I get there. It’s really fascinating! Even to think that we’re going to see each together again. I don’t know how to describe how I feel this moment, it’s just overwhelming. More like the feeling of falling in love, all over again from the first time you laid eyes on someone you love. I guess, that’s more of the feeling that I have right now. *grinning*

Not to be able to use English for daily basis, really slow me down on the subject. I’m starting to make some mistakes as the first learner. Thanks to JCT that really has the patience helping me a lot with these tenses and grammar. I know that I’m far from perfect and yet life is about learning new things. Some just said I’m really good, I can’t say I’m not though *wink*. It’s just that you need to get over the compliment sometimes, just to give your attention back to what you’re suppose to.

I’m learning it all over gain. Read more than a thousand pages of novels, also helpful. I need to keep the Maryamah Karpov aside for a while. So, when I’m finished with the novels, there’s another book waiting. But, reading English novels were not the only tools, though. But also chatting actively, voice chatting also watching movies without the Indonesian subtitle *grin*. I feel like I’m getting back to the situation where I used to be. Being able to use my English on the daily basis. I’m glad and I’m happy. This is kinda cool, I thought.

Well, this is just a start for the English entry.
I hope there’s many more to come...

Pardon me for the language inconveniences for some of you, doesn’t really means to show off or something. I just need to follow my instinct to write. Something that I’m capable to do and I’ve been putting it off lately.

If you’re all asking do I missed everyone?
Of course, and absolutely!
*smiling*





Note:
This one is also a special thank you note for you, Chris! *Big smile*

Musim hujan adalah salah satu musim yang saya sukai. Belakangan hujan makin ‘menggila’ tapi saya semakin senang. Saya menikmati suasana setelah hujan, sedang hujan dan apapun yang berhubungan dengan hujan.

Entah mengapa. Ada saat dimana pagi buta, hujan mengguyur Bumi begitu deras. Ingin rasanya bangun dari dalam gelungan selimut dan berlari keluar untuk menari bersama hujan. Tapi, hanya menjadi ide gila yang belum terlaksana. Saya masih lebih senang bergelung bersama selimut tebal yang hangat.

Musim hujan juga membuat saya dapat memakai bajubaju tebal dan panjang saya. Menghangatkan badan sambil bergaya dan tidak terlihat salah kostum sama sekali. Seperti halnya orang luar negeri memiliki baju musim dingin, maka saya memiliki baju musim hujan.

Pokoknya menyenangkan deh!

Apa kabar semua? :)

When I find myself in time of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be…

=Beatles – Let It Be=

Belakangan ini saya sedang tidak ingin mengetahui tentang apapun. Seandainya Bumi sempat berhenti seperdetak jantung pun, saya tidak mau tau. Saya hanya ingin terus berjalan. Entah sampai dimana akan berhenti nanti.

Menjelang hari Natal malah banyak sekali cobaan yang datang. Tapi, ada saja temanteman yang berusaha untuk menguatkan hati saya. Terutama Tuhan. Ia memang luarbiasa. Pada saat pertolongan duniawi tidak lagi mampu membantu, yang dapat dilakukan adalah meminta pertolongan secara rohani.

Pada saat saya kalah dan tidak tahan lagi dengan persaingan cari muka di kantor. Saya menangis. Bukan karena sedih dan cengeng. Tapi karena kesal. Setiap saya berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik lagi, selalu ada saja kejadian ‘besar’. Membuat saya jatuh, benar-benar sakit.

Namun, yang sudah terjadi tidak dapat lagi diputar balik seperti memutar film.

Menjadi kambing hitam, adalah salah satu peristiwa yang tidak pernah saya duga. Apalagi untuk suatu hal yang memang sudah diakui bukan salah saya. Inilah yang membuat saya kesal. Mengorbankan karir yang saya bangun hampir selama 5 tahun. Membiarkan orangorang itu melempar kotoran di muka saya dan tidak mengakuinya. Gimana tidak kesal?

Sebenarnya, riwayat saya di kantor ini sama saja sudah selesai.

Apakah ada yang dapat mencarikan pekerjaan baru buat saya?

Gosh, I can’t even write anymore
I don’t know what to say and what to do,
I just NEED my holiday coming soon.
I want the New Year to wash everything…

I'm not in the mood to do things,
I just want to watch my movies, read my books and just dance!
Take all the trouble away and just leave it there…

Just let it be!

Btw, Blue makasih yah!
You truly a friend that one can count on!

Kamu adalah wujud kenyataan dari sebuah mimpi yang berubah menjadi angan,

Sosok mimpi yang berwujud kemudian hilang, hanya kenangan indah yang tertinggal dan terpatri begitu dalam. Dalam diriku dan benakmu. Kita pernah memiliki angan, kita pun memiliki mimpi yang sama. Entah siapa diantara kia yang akan mewujudkan angan dan mimpi tersebut menjadi peristiwa hidup.

Waktu berlalu tanpa terasa. Sewindu sudah berharap kenyataan segera datang, namun sepertinya waktu masih tetap akan bersandiwara untuk kita.

Entah kapan, tapi aku percaya 'suatu saat' itu akan hadir, seperti yang pernah kau ucapkan. Mimpi, angan dan janji akan terwujud menjadi kenyataan.

Tidak lagi hanya memandang tulisan pada layar monitor dan telepon genggam,

Tidak lagi hanya mendengar suara tanpa wujud,

Tidak lagi hanya mendengar tawamu, tapi dapat memandang kilau cahaya matamu.

Bertemu kembali adalah wujud kenyataan dari angan, mimpi dan janji hidup kita,

Semoga dalam kehidupan yang sebentar ini akan dapat terpenuhi.

Tetaplah menjadi bintang dilangit,

Agar cinta kita akan abadi,

Biarlah sinarmu tetap menyinari alam ini,

Agar menjadi saksi cinta kita, berdua

[Kasih tak Sampai - PADI]

Sebuah lagu yang mengingatkanku akan hangatnya genggaman tanganmu, hari itu.



= Dedicated to Ishmael=

Sering kali kita melakukan sesuatu hanya karena perasaan. Jika menurut kita benar maka kita akan melakukannya, peduli setan apa kata orang lain. Tapi terkadang, sikap egois seperti ini membuat jurang perasaan semakin lebar bagi kita dan orang lain. Entah disadari atau tidak. Pada saat kita sadar bahwa yang kita lakukan sudah salah, kepalang terjadi. Kesalahan tidak dapat terhapus, sakit hati tidak dapat lagi berubah. Kita sudah menyakiti orang lain, secara sadar atau tidak.

Yang dapat dilakukan setelahnya hanya meminta maaf, karena sudah sadar menyakiti perasaan orang lain. Padahal pada saat kita menyakiti perasaan mereka, ada perubahan terjadi di kepala mereka tentang kita. Ada perubahan terjadi dalam hati mereka, tentang kita. Hanya karena tindakan yang tadinya kita pikir tidak akan menyakiti orang lain, namun kenyataan berbicara beda.

Bagi saya, memaafkan seseorang itu adalah hal yang mudah. Bahkan pada saat maaf belum terucap, saya sudah memaafkan segala pembicaraan atau perbuatan orang tersebut, siapapun itu orangnya. Tapi, untuk melupakan apa yang dilakukan orang itu, mungkin tidak mudah. Waktu pasti akan menyembuhkan tapi bekas yang tertoreh tidak akan mudah tertutup. Ada yang bisa sembuh dengan cepat, ada yang bertahan hingga akhir, tak terlupakan.

Karena tindakan tersebut, terkadang orang yang sudah menyakiti kita, secara tidak sadar menjadi salah satu bagian penting dalam hidup kita. Entah dalam arti yang negatif atau positif. Seharusnya kita berterimakasih pada orang tersebut karena tanpa kehadiran mereka dalam hidup kita, kita tidak pernah sadar sudah menyakiti atau disakiti, sedemikian rupa. Demikian juga dengan keberadaan orangorang yang memang peduli dengan keberadaan kita dalam hidup mereka. Dimana kita menerima mereka sebagai teman, sahabat dan partner sejati.

Tanpa undangan atau rencana, teman bisa datang tibatiba, memberikan kita dukungan, menyediakan bahu untuk menangis, juga memberikan solusi untuk masalah yang sedang kita hadapi. Menjadi penasehat dan pendengar sejati yang tidak dapat digantikan oleh psikiater manapun juga.

Itulah teman terbaik yang pernah dimiliki oleh orang seperti saya.
Terimakasih karena kalian sudah menjadi bagian paling penting dalam hidup saya.
Ingatlah ini jika suatu saat kalian merasa sendiri dan kesepian.
Kalian tidak pernah akan sendiri, dimana pun, kapan pun.

*kecuali lagi boker sih, entah ada temen yang mau nemenin gak yah?* =Peace=

Heheheh...