I’ve been dealing with this for quite sometimes. I can’t seem to put the right words into this so-called diary. I don’t even know where to begin, without any triggering mood to do the writing. I know that I needed to write, not that I don’t want to tho. Sometimes I just really need my own time to be able to do this. Just like whenever I want to watch a movie, I don’t want any distractions around me. Yeah, I’m that kind of person.

Now, I’m trying to write this out. After a long pause and every one been asking about updating new subject, here I am. Some of you might miss me, I know and I’m sorry. *giggles* Thanks for the nice thoughts and feelings. That’s all I asked to keep me always in spirited mood.

The above verse is very simple but very true. I found it accidentally through the net. Sometimes there’s always a time when you really need a stress release. Each and every one of us has their own style of the matter. To me, one of the things is this, writing. Sometimes watching movies or reading even daydreaming. It’s just nice to have the world of your own for a while. It’s just like ‘escaping’ from this hectic world, and just made your own world in your mind.

There are always issues, in life. That’s for sure; it’s only a matter of action we take to find the ways to answer them. You can’t just sit there and not doing anything or even just cry or furious, for sure it wouldn’t solve anything. You need to talk to somebody that can understand your problems, someone you can trust or just perfect stranger you just know, somewhere. You can be surprise with the answers you’ll get. Is it base on experience? YES! I have to admit it.

Reactions you get from people can be different. Especially, when it’s coming from the one you know or one that doesn’t. They all can come up with the same results or the opposite. Still, at the end, you need to decide. You need to take some chances. You’re the one that have things. You’re the one that think you have problems. So, you’re the only one that can solve it. The others just a back up call and a reminder of something you can’t see.

I learn a lot regarding to this so-called problem. All you have to do just trust yourself, take action and let the super power God -or whatever you believe in- has, do the rest. There’s another saying which said "Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves" this is the thing that sometimes we can’t see. We love to see others while we hardly look in the mirror. Just like, sometimes, we afraid of the consequences of taking chances.

A friend of mine, Andy, told me once, when someone actually come to see me as a consultant or psychologist when the patient start talking about one problem and a third person that make one go crazy or stressful. It’s actually not the third person that has the problem. It’s the patient. Why? Because, the patient sitting in front of me and talking about someone else, is the one that having a problem. The explanations really took me by surprise, yet make a lot of sense.

So, the conclusion will try to be honest with yourself and just let it go...
Trust yourself, 'cause if you don't trust your own, who else?

This is just one of the nonsense, I write and for me to show off. Yup! *grinning* but, still with every line I wrote, I’m learning, with every mistakes and corny subject that I posted, I’m learning.

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

Dr. Lannis - Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Originally taken from St. Augustine

The above quote is just a reminder, about being happy and in love.

In this crazy world of fast and instant things, sometimes one really needs to lay back. Just to stepped back a bit and looking back to the road we took. Some people said, don’t look back. But, sometimes that’s all we need. To look back at the things we’ve done in the past. Of course, you can’t change your past, for sure. However, to me remembering the past is good as a real thing reminder. When it’s bad, you can figure out why and learn to be better. When it’s good then something that you can treasure and remember for the rest of your life. Something you can tell to your descendants, as a legend.

*grinning*

Even I’m smiling as I’m writing this now. Remembering all the good and happy times, I had.

According to my opinion, being in love is one of the greatest moments in someone’s life. It’s the wonderful feelings, butterflies, flushes, laughter and togetherness. As the time goes, those tools really work things out. Some people thought being in love is just about all the mushy and juicy. I guess, it's not. Fights, being pissed and sadness are include in the love-package.

Sometimes one just has to realize it again, and start to ask the simple question that usually forgotten.

“Are you happy with your life?”

Of course, the question is referring to life itself. Will one be happy with or without any life partner at one side?

Why don’t you - readers – try to ask the question to yourself? Who knows something really good and great will happen soon to your life.

Don’t complaint, ‘cause whatever that is, not going to make your life easier. But, smile a lot and feel happy, and then the people around you will feel the positive energy and love being around you. You’ll never know if there’s actually someone out there already keep an eye on you, just like one’s prey. Just wait for the right time and the right moment to hit you and BAM!!

I got you! *big grin*

It’s easy dealing with love, if you’d say so,
And it’s hard dealing with it, if you’d say so too.

The choice always comes back to ourselves, whether we want the hard ways or the easy ways. Sometimes people just don’t realize about this. They’re just go blind about everything regarding to love matter. Then, when you try to look back, it’s not necessary have to be the way you wanted too.

Sometimes, it just happens. Either you want it too or not. You just have to accept the feelings –negative or positive – you’ve got. No matter how strange the feeling you feel, it’s there.

Therefore, when it comes to funny feelings and it's kinda make you being silly, just embrace it! Wouldn’t hurt you if it’s not kill you, right? *wink*

So, just don't be afraid to fall in love and being out of love, 'cause it will soon presence itself in front of you. Whenever you're ready to embrace it...



Note:
Happy Birthday, Dhimas aka KulDab! I can't give you anything, just not yet, but this one note definitely a b'day gift for you!

Gambar diambil disini

If you’re happen to be here and read this, means you’re lost, happen to be here accidentally or probably I invite you once to be here. You might know me but you might not, but I hope you enjoying your stay for one bit.

There’s always a dilemma inside of me. Something that I know that I shouldn’t bother about. But I just can’t help it. It happens. Probably the world outside wouldn’t notice that, but I can feel what’s going on inside of me.

Too many love will kill you, someone said, but I guess its not always love. Too much thinking will too. That’s what I’ve been doing lately, I hope it is because of my awareness increasing, that made me feel this way. If not then it's my stupidity. :D

Lately I can feel the jealousy, being ignored or anger inside of me and I realize it. One says that if you can actually feel that consciously means your awareness is increasing. I really do hope so. I know those are the negative feelings that I shouldn’t feel, but sometimes we just can’t help it. Those feelings just emerge. We just have to realize about those feelings when they come out and try NOT to prolong the process, 'cause when you do that you’re feeding your ego, which is not really yourself.

I’m still learning not to feed my ego very often, at least when the ego emerge and try to take the lead, one just have to let the awareness appear too, 'cause when the awareness appear, whatever the ego try on you, it will reduce it’s power.

You can’t change your past, but you can change present moment before it's gone. I can repeat it again in my heart and still I have this bitter feeling inside of me. Not that I’m ungrateful or what, its just one of those moment in life, when you really want something BIG happen and shake your world, big time!

I wish I could just stare at those past moments that I keep carrying behind my back, after all this time. I just have to shrug ‘em away now. It’s been months since the last time we said goodbye. There’s no fight. No nothing. It’s just us trying to find our separated ways.

It still hurts, until this very day, I feel like I’m chasing ghost for the past months. I don’t think one even deserve to be chase by me, but I realize this is something that I have to face now. I have to admit my feelings toward 'the ghost'. No matter how bad I feel pity and stupid about myself, at least I admit it.

This is one of those embarrassing moment in one’s life, I know. I really need to let go all the things that I keep, so I can let all the burden out. I don’t want to carry these again, after all this time. I’m tired of everything already.

I need to let go of the past, IT IS PAST!

I want you to understand, my dear self. I’m sorry, if this sound to harsh but you DO need to learn to let go what I said it's behind, already. Try to reminisce everything NOT going to bring one's back. You just have to face it now. ‘Cause you’re not living in the past, you’re breathing NOW. Be glad, be happy and keep in mind that someone BETTER and AWESOME is out there, looking for you. One's not going to find you, if you’re still lingering here in the past.

So, would you like to come out and play with me at the presence moment?

:)

Never ending stories,
Never ending lullaby,
Untold dreams,
Wishing on the stars,
Singing in the rain,
Foolish acts,
Laugh while crying…

That’s just part of what one call LOVE

FEEL it in every core of one’s body,
FEEl it in every blink of one’s eyes,

Then we don’t need distance to say I LOVE U,
'Cause you’re here in every beat, breathe and veins..

FREE YOURSELF, indeed

====================

Somehow I just want to put my comment here,
I just love to read it again, one day...

As a reminder for myself :)

I’ve been hanging out with lots of long lost guy friends lately. Some of ‘em I haven’t see almost more than a decade. Its good to catch up again. To be able to share things that we missed. To see the changed in ‘em also the shocking truth they shared. Especially, those relationship fairytale.

There’s always something that you can learn listening to their stories.

Sometimes when you hanging out with guys a lot, there’s something in you – as woman – can cope with ‘em. BUT there are also lots of women that can’t understand why men think differently?

Along the life I live in, sometimes I can understand ‘em completely and be patient with their characters, sometimes I just want to be a woman. They said, women created to be fooled. I do agree with the thinking, sometimes :D base on the women bonding and sharing, we – as women – do tend to be fool. Even when we already know that, it is stupid and being fool, we just close our hearts and eyes.

What can be more fool than that?

Am I talking base on experience? Yes, I do. I was one of those foolish women. As life goes on, you know that something that don’t kill you, won’t hurt you that bad. So, with every single foolish act you HAVE to learn, try NOT to fall into the same hole again. If not, you’re worst than a donkey. But, don’t worry, I’ve been worst then a donkey too…hahaha…

For the past months, I’ve been learning lots about life and myself. I know that’s not normal for some people, even one of those guys think I’m crazy enough to be in this kind of state. But, I'll do ANYTHING just to make myself HAPPIER than EVER. Reading some books, do help, sometimes. A friend of mine said something like, “Maybe if I dun know who I’m talking to, I’m going to say you’re PATHETIC!” but then he made me laugh with another remarks he made. Thanks, for making me laugh, ‘ndu!

Some of my guy friends commented whoever the guy that I’m in love with, must be a luckiest guy on Earth, but I don’t think that’s what the guy that I’m with thinking when he’s with me. I know that I’m too dominant, sometimes. Fortunately, I have been dating younger guys for the past years. So, if I’m too dominant, it’s just that I can’t stand the spoiled and ego in them when it arises.

What I thought as a Prince Charming, becomes a frog
What I thought as a Knight in Shining armor, becomes coward

Is it that bad? NOPE! For me they're still my Prince Charming and my Knight in Shining armor. ' Cause to me, first impressions always important, if somewhere along the path they changed shape, I guess I'm the one that have to deal with it.

Can't blame 'em, right?

Let's say that I watch too much of romantic drama, you name ‘em. However, I just wish that they can learn from those dramas? About the words, acts, and situation. From time to time, those dramas are reflections of our own lives.

One thing that I should bear in mind about guy is that he would know how to treat and appreciate woman, when he's really in love with one. Even the greatest lover like Casanova, treat each woman like a princess! I hope you're NOT mixing the REAL Casanova with the Hollywood Casanova. You know what a movie played by a famous actor can turn history into another perception.

So, guys, learn to be a Casanova for once in your life, k? 

Jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
Ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka…
Tak inginku paksakan, cinta ini…
-keris patih – Tapi bukan aku–

Lagu itu sudah bergaung begitu lama, tapi sepertinya memang menghadapi kenyataan itu gak gampang. Mengakui apa yang sejujurnya dirasa oleh diri sendiri itu tidak semudah membayangkan jika benar terjadi apa adanya. Tapi sekarang terasa lebih lega dan mungkin membahagiakan, karena kita memang sudah menyadari bahwa status yang dimiliki hanya membuat belenggu dihati

People always leave. They do, eventually. However, the good and great memories remain ‘till the end of the journey. It’s hard to admit this is over, and it’s too early for me. However, I grieve for one day and pour everything out. I guess that's more than enough :)

Now, we can be HAPPY. I can say that now, ‘cause it seems we can only be friends even with the needs of each other’s benefits later on. So, I learnt something from this journey, that go whatever you heart says. If its say NO from the first time, don’t push it through the limit, ‘cause its not going to worth the efforts.

Now, I try to listen to my heart

Sorry, for all the trouble dear friends! *hugs* :)
Thanks for taking care of me so preciously, especially you Rex
Thanks for always become my so-called guardian angel

As for you my dearest Cuplis :), I really wish you all the best for EVERYTHING you plan for you future, as for my advice, please please please find what your ambitions and what DO YOU WANT in life, have sometime for your own sake will ya? So, I hope someday somehow it’s not only ME that could be PROUD of what you’ve done in life, but your surroundings too. Luv ya, always. I promise you one thing, right? To me, promise will always be a promise and the contract for eternity :) You can count on me on that one…

I guess it’s a blessing to have such friend that can understand you and give you some enlightenment when you’re feeling down or dumb about something or everything.

Sometimes I chatted with friends and can give ‘em some piece of advice. But, I guess even a dumpster can be full and need to dump what’s inside of it, right?

So, I met this so-called wiseman along my path of friendship. He was a weird and extraordinary person, at least when I first knew him. However, years passed and he actually changed into a different person. Through his stories, I found out that, he was abroad for a while and those experiences kinda changed him, somehow.

I can only say that I’m glad that I met him years ago while he was weird and seemed spoke different language on his own. Now? phiuuhhh…I can only say I have my own spiritual guidance/shrink/good brother, just name it.

It was really good and sweet on the other side of me being able to talk to you. I know I’m being dumb and I know that you keep on talking about how tough I am in facing those kind of problems. I came to realized that I only have to changed my perspective on things. I won’t let myself torture my own soul again. Especially, when my mood swing isn't that good, like having the paranoia feelings toward things or particular someone.

Just let it flow. Don’t hurt myself. Don’t think too much. Don’t bug about things that don’t kill me and stop punishing myself and especially give the love I have to someone that worthy to have it. FULLY!

He said something like, if there are some people that don’t and seems can’t understand when you care for ‘em then don’t punish yourself. Rather than ignore it and have pity on yourself. That’s not good. Stop torturing yourself with your own fears.

Its like a bang in my head, listening to his rants. But, I’m glad to be able to find someone in the wee hours of the nite talking nonsense and his there to listen up. Yup! Us –women- just want to be heard, that’s all and to find someone that can really listening to what you’re blabbering about is bliss.

Thank you, bro! (you know who you are!)
This is the least I can do to thank you. I really appreciate all those sarcasm and also words of wisdom? From you? C’mon! Hahahah… I don’t think that word fit, oh well…

As for your comments about having a bad taste on guys, ehmm…seems you’re not the only one mentioning about it err…I can only say that I don’t judge people by its cover. As long as I can be comfortable around ‘em I would just stay close. But if its not comfortable again, I think I know when I have to bounce 

Hope you ALWAYS have a wonderful life, buddy!

A note for myself:
Everything is in ME. If I let myself think differently then its going to be different, if I let myself think it matters than it will matter. In addition, if I let myself lose then I will lose. Especially when I let myself care TOO MUCH about what’s going on around other’s people life, that’s when I need to loosen up. Don’t let the paranoia eat me alive! Let yourself loose, Mei. I guess; I need to think about myself and learn to be an egoistic person too, once in a while. I can’t ever expect from someone else’s to change something inside of me. Its only me that can! YES!

This is truly inspiring note for my own soul.
Finally, I can write something to remind myself about me being stupid and dumb in some path of live. Well, people did. But, I rarely hear ‘em admit their own mistakes. Even sometimes its hard to say ‘ I’m sorry’ to someone.

I’m the type of person that can easily amuse by certain stories, a ‘lil act of kindness, sweet talks, pot of good tea, hugs, silly comments, stupid remarks, any kind of surprises (never experience it tho), good songs, good movies, Amaretto DiSarrono also Boltz Creme de Cassis even just to cuddle up with special someone or friends, last but not least making conversation in any topics that revolve around…

Aha! :)

Who are you out there that can join me in happiness?
heheh...come along then!

So, here I am again. Completely aware that I don't have anything particular to be written. But, its been a while since the last time I write something in here while the month almost end.

Nothing much going on with me actually. Accept, I'm happy to know that my dear bro is here already, he said he's sick tho. But, why can't he called me instead of sending me sms from unknown cell #. Oh well, as long as I know he's here, I guess.
Get well soon, dear. I can't wait to see you and hang out. Have you watch GHOST RIDER? hohoho... its a cool movie!

I bought some DVDs too,
Finally I got to watch HEROES :)

Hahahah...meracuni Pondok Ripi dengan DVD HEROES.

The TV broken again, shit! I hate this when it happens. I just spent some of my money on it. NOW, I have to spent more. *sigh...
You know what I hate, is to have a brother that can't take care about things that NOT belong to him. Geezzz...

Guys hmm...this always been an issues.
But I guess, I prefer to keep it low :)

I just love being with my friends at the moment, being love and cherish with 'em!

Udah akh, belajar menulis bahasa Inggrisnya. Udah mulai gak jelas soalnya.
Yang jelas seh, PMS itu bikin idup sengsara deh. Karena gara-gara PMS banyak hal yang gak perlu di parno in malah jadi parno. Bete banged. Sampe ada yang bilang, 'you're stupid when you're on your PMS, this is not the Mei I know' mateee deehhh!

Rex ultah tgl 1 lagi binun mo ngasih kado apa yah?
Yang jelas gak bisa dikunjungin, karena biasanya dia pasti akan pake waktunya buat merenung deh. Tapi yah, gak tau untuk taon ini :)
Bisa jadi dia malah pulang ke Bandung. Merenung disana. Mungkin bikin tulisan ajah yah, karena klo tulisan itu sepertinya abadi deh heheh...

Tapi liat nanti deh masih blum ada rencana apapun, biasanya klo keq gini pasti dadakan semua rencananya :)

Lagi musim sakit, tapi kenapa gue gak sakit-sakit yah? huehuehe...
orang yang sakit malah pengen sehat, yang sehat malah pengen sakit.
Abis gue rasanya cape banged. Butuh liburan beneran deh. Tapi gak pengen potong cuti.
Sepertinya susah yah? hehehe...

Oh Mei, shut up now, will ya?

Remember, with great power. comes great responsibility.
Uncle Ben - Spiderman

Sepertinya yang dibilang sama Paman Ben ke Peter Parker itu bener adanya. Dengan diberi sedikit kekuasaan maka akan ada tanggungjawab yang LEBIH juga. Begitu juga sama halnya dengan uang lebih berarti kebutuhan juga lebih. Tapi semuanya balik lagi ke orangnya masing-masing bagaimana mereka menjalankan itu semua.

Hari ini bener-bener BERKAH buat gue, kenapa gue bilang berkah? Karena gue gak mo bilang bahwa hari ini gue ketiban sial, karena gak ada positifnya banged. Pagi-pagi bos dah ngoceh ke gue, karena beberapa kesalahan yang MEMANG gue lakukan, intinya dia bilang klo gue harus komunikasi sama dia.

Setelah itu gue BERUSAHA memperbaiki semua kesalahan gue dengan ngikutin maunya dia apa, yang ada gue seharian di jalan. Sampe akhirnya sendal gue ikutan putus juga. Tapi tetep gue gak boleh nyerah sampe disini, tetep ada ajah para malaikat yang diutus Tuhan buat gue untuk bisa buat gue selamat jalan sampe ke pameran!

Terimakasih Tuhan buat para roh kudus yang senantiasa menjaga,
Terimakasih sudah mengutus para malaikat turun ke dunia,

Seharian ini emang bener-bener pelajaran menghadapi segala kesalahan dengan pikiran LEBIH positif, karena klo mau ikutin omongan nyokap, dia selalu bilang. Selama masih diocehin berarti masih disayang dan diperhatikan. Lebih baik seperti itu, daripada memang didiamkan sama sekali mau melakukan pekerjaan APAPUN.

Tapi segala sesuatunya saat ini memang lagi benerbener ribet, karena semua lagi pada sibuk menyiapkan rapat tahunan nasional. Jadi semuanya ikut tegang dan senewen. Wajar toh?

Gue bertekad untuk bisa kerja LEBIH BAIK lagi, dan harus mau lebih cerewet lagi ngobrol sama bos, mo di bilang SKSD juga bodo amad deh. Toh, selama ini emang kita juga jarang ngobrol. Membingungkan emang klo kadang orang melihat segala sesuatunya dari segi fisik saja.

Padahal bukan berarti klo orang badannya kecil itu artinya masih jadi anak kecil juga kan?

You can’t ALWAYS have everything you want.

That is so true. ‘Cause lately I start to feel this butterfly again in my stomach, and this feeling of missing someone. But, too bad. The feelings just can’t go on to the next level. I prefer that we both are perfect just to be friends without any romantic feelings involve in the relationship. ‘Cause I’m afraid later on will ruin everything that seems already perfect between us.

Thank You Taufiqurrahman, for letting me know the true feeling of yours. It’s a pleasure for me to know that I’m the one that you always expect me to be, but too bad that I can’t be the one you wanted to. Even in the most desperate lifetime of yours.
hahahah...gimana gimana? udah nambah kan PD Mei jadi 4 juta koma 7? kekeke...

It feels better to write something about someone that hardly read things like this, or even to get online :D that’s why I dare to write the above message. Hahaha…not that I scared tho, but it just something that I need to let him know, maybe when we have time someday to meet again.

Klo gak ada mata-mata entah kapan tulisan ini bakal kebaca langsung sama orangnya,
payah deh emang! Tapi yahhh...namanya juga intel, jadinya yah mesti ngasih laporan klo emang ada kabar terbaru kekekek...

PS:
udah benerkan ejaan namanya? bweeee...
PSS:
Olil lain kali biarin ajah biar orangnya cari tau sendiri :p
=========================
Buat seseorang yang selalu bilang apapun yang berhubungan denganku mengganggu,

Saat ini hati ini bergemuruh sebal. Karena hingga detik terakhir pun TIDAK ADA sama sekali KEBERANIAN dari kamu untuk setidaknya bicara melalui fasilitas telekomunikasi yang sudah begitu canggih. Hanya SMS singkat menanyakan soal keberadaanku saja.

Keluh

Aku cukup bahagia jika memang Irien bisa membuatmu bahagia.
Jangan lagi menjalani segalanya berdasarkan pelarian akan diriku. Itu tidak baik.
Jangan lagi menjalani semuanya berdasarkan kebutuhan semata.
Jangan lagi menjalankan itu semua hanya karena merindukan sosok diriku.
Jujurlah pada hati dan dirimu, sekali ini saja dalam hidupmu.

Aku masih tetap disini saat kau ingin berdiskusi tentang APAPUN, bahkan aku masih akan tetap menemui dirimu jika memang kau memiliki KEBERANIAN sedikit saja untuk berkomunikasi denganku. Bukan melalui tulisan semata, tapi sesuatu yang lebih asli. Seperti telpon misalnya?

Hati-hati dijalan. Mungkin perjalanan pulang kali ini akan memberikan proses perenungan baru lagi bagimu. Dari dulu hingga sekarang aku selalu menginginkan yang TERBAIK untuk hidupmu. Tidak lebih dan tidak kurang.

Semoga apapun yang kamu inginkan bisa kamu dapatkan!
Hanya itu doa yang terus kudaraskan hingga saat ini…

I'm sick...
...heart, body and soul

so, I see you guys in hell!

Everyone in this world know that one would never know what the future hold for us, all we can do just following days gone by, with the fire in our hearts to finding what we want and what were looking for.

Some of us dream for the impossible and still carry on fulfilling them,
However, some of us just getting tired to pursue what they actually want and just leave it behind and looking for another goal to conquer.

We learn from childhood that if we want something that impossible, our parent would say that right through the head that we can’t ever reach it, and we live for the rest of our life with that feeling that we can’t ever fulfill something that impossible. While on the other hand, if we really want it to happened, it WILL.

It’s just a matter of time when and how were going to fulfill that goal. The only thing that we have to do is NEVER GIVE UP. Just believe in yourself that someday somehow that dream will come true. Bring that fire in our hearts always, because you never know when you actually expect the unexpected it actually come true.

Once I never believe that dreams do come true. That I finally be able to walk in Manhattan, visiting the most fancy city in the world and actually climbing to the Statue of Liberty. Eventually I did. Those are the moment that I will not trade to anything in this world.


So, if you do have something in life that haven’t come true, please keep that fire alive in your heart, cause you never know when it actually come true just hope and believe that at the end it’s a happy ending stories.

I know this is sound so naïve, but I’m the kinda of person that somehow believe that there is a fairytales, why don’t we make our own? Therefore, we can tell our children and grandchildren and our next generation our own legend.

Just carry the fire in your heart from now on..

Sometimes one never know what actually the big Guy up there create our lives, some are good some are bad, but it always in equal conditions. However, that’s just my opinion.

It has been 2 months since I’ve been introduce to someone really nice, charming, mature and beautiful. She’s someone from far away land, Cape Town, South Africa...


She said it’s the land of mountains and seas, but I said it’s really a beautiful country! By the way, her name is Hayley. *Say Hi to Hayley, guys! :D*

Last week she has this thing known as broken heart, people that have been in love sure know how it feels. At least, I know how she feels, since I’ve been into that situation not to long ago. What hard sometime is when you know that you can’t actually be there in person for your friend, in this mellow situation. Things that sometimes I wish I had too. Some friends that can just sit and ease you for a moment.

Sit in a room talking about how bad that person treat you,
How wonderful he was once,
Sipping hot chocolate with marshmallow in it,
Crying your heart out while I cried with you and hold you tight,

Then after that, we should go to the club, find a good entertainment, and dance all night long then in the morning, we got major hangover! Hahahah…

I wish I could be there when you feel blue, but hey! I know you survived, no matter how bad your heartache, you can always get up and cheers somebody else’s life again. Just like you did to mine. ‘Cause you have that smiles that can turn a bad mood into a good mood! You also said to yourself that you have an attitude and you know how to use ‘em…
One thing good about this after-breakup-situation is enjoying your single life! You still have lots of years to stay fun and hanging out, as long as you’re not going crazy by it *grin* hhahaha…

Now, what do you think about using the attitude to yourself? 
I know, it isn’t like snapping your finger to forget everything about him, infact you can’t actually erase ‘em from your life, ‘cause no matter how bad he treats you, he was part of your youthful and wonderful life.

It hurts like hell, I know. All the places, songs, things, and TV serials especially pictures still remind you of him. However, I’m sure everything will go back to normal soon enough. Don’t worry I’ll be here when you need me, you can always write your heart out even SMS me if you have a ‘lil bit of airtime and I’ll try my best to be there for you, even when we separated by oceans and lands still the spirit of friendship can’t be separated by anything! It’s a lifetime guarantee!

Let’s grow this friendship forever, so when its time for me to leave this world and we’re no longer be in touch ‘cause of something we don’t even know anymore. I can always be proud to say thanks for coming to my life and share yours with me. Moreover, I’m sooooo glad you’re in my dash! 
I’ll come find you someday and hugs you for real! How’s that sound huh?! FUN!? Hell yeah!!! :D South Africa, here I come…!

PS: and that goes, for you too dear friends that already read and put some comments here  I’m so glad to have you as part of my life!

This is kinda match to the title of my blog,
its been a while that I forgot to find this great words,
now that I remember and I want to share with you guys!

I'm sure some of you knew about this words :)
A few years back, I stunted with such words, a simple but very deep
I'm sure you all have different kind of memories to this kind of nice words,
words that can actually changed you as a person and character :)

Thanks for creating such a powerful words Ms. Powers :)

Geeezz, can't believe its October again!

"...Lebaran sebentar lagi,
lebaran sebentar lagi..." SINGGG! :D

:D

Gak berasa banged 1 taon dah lewat lagi yah? Kadang klo dah mendekati penghujung taon kayak gini, mulai lagi mikir dan bacabaca lagi kejadian apa yang dah dialamin sepanjang taon, dan hal apa aja yang terjadi...

Tapi kadang sedih banged yah, waktu lewat begitu ajah tapi koq gak ada sesuatu yang berarti yang bisa bikin idup ini lebih berarti gitu...

*keluh*

eniwe, sebenernya hari Minggu kemaren, temen kampus ngajakin ketemuan untuk buka puasa bareng, tapi entah kenapa yah bangun tidur siang ajah dah mo jam 4, males banged jalan ke Semanggi :D jadinya yah mendingan ngendon di kamar nonton :D

bwahah...berita bagus adalah gue berhasil mendapatkan serial Korea GOONG itu! YEEEYY!! Padahal katanya lagi dicaricari polisi dan gak dijual ke sembarang orang deh, ngomongnya ajah mesti bisikbisik gitu, unttuunnnggg banged punya langganan :D thanks KIM!

Jadi dalam 2 minggu ini dah 3 serial Korea yang abis di tonton (Goong, Spring Waltz & What Planet are you From?) yang terakhir ini gak gitu bagus, biasa ajah. Dan bete banged nonton sama nyokap tuh yah, komentarnya parah banged. Tapi biar komentar tentang karakter tolol aktris yang di film, tetep ajah nanyain sambungannya mana...hahaha...Love you, Mom!

Trus juga babat abis 1 season Gilmore Girls 8 disc :D hohoho...
gue seneng liat cowo barunya Rory disitu namanya Logan Huntzberger dimainkan oleh Matt Czuchry, OMG, he's cute! keren, tajir, romantis, dan jentelmen sekaleee...walaupun mantan playboy, tapi demi Rory dia mau berubah! Akh keren deh pokoknya! :D

mulai menggila lagi nontonnya :D

Oh yeah, sempet nonton The Lake House-nya Mas Nunu :D
gila tuh orang berdua ketemu lagi yah, keren! Film ini emang di adaptasi dari film Korea yang judulnya Il Mare. I need to find this DVD :)

Bercerita tentang 2 orang dengan waktu yang berbeda, tapi bisa saling berkomunikasi walau lewat surat. Untung waktunya cuma 2 taon doank, jadi masih bisa saling ketemu di masa depan :)

Gue pernah nonton film dengan cerita yang mirip jaman dulu banged, cuma ini benerbener beda banged waktunya. Dan emang media komunikasinya adalah meja tulis jaman jebod gitu. Tapi sampe sekarang gue masih nyari negh judul tuh film apa yah? :-s

eniwe, this is the 1st entry I guess :)

Kangen juga menulis, after a while, well, what new with me then?

The newest one was I had an interview yesterday as a Marketing Executive, at ESMOD. Its a fashion design school, the best in Jakarta I might say. If you really want to know more about it, just click here

I just wish that I will got the job there, it is a new field of work. Totally different from what I'm doing at the moment, its quite far, but as long as I enjoy the work I'm sure I'm ok with that. I can learn alot of things from this company also, who knows I can also make my talent of making accesories useful :)

That's the most exciting part yesterday..

And another one was 30G iPod that I borrowed from Karen, my colleague at the office. I dun think its a user friendly gadget, cause when you want to change your song, you have to see the list again there's no button at all at the earpiece.

Then when you want to turn down/up the volume there's no button also, you have to take your iPod out and adjust it again. As if you're in a train or bus and your iPod is in your pocket or bag its kinda hard to do those thing...

Well, I still think its not that worth it, its just the BRAND that sold! I'm sure my cellphone does better if I put more memories in it. Hehehe...

Intinya tuh gak user friendly deh, agak ribet ajah klo mo ganti lagu susah gak ada tombol buat mencetnya kayak earphonenya Nokia :D heheh...
trus juga klo mo delete lagu gak bisa langsung dari situ, trus mo nambahin lagu juga mesti punya itunes...

Auk akh, mungkin gue kali males alat canggih yang bikin ribet ajah yah? Sedangkan gue terbiasa dengan yang simple langsung enak dipake, klo gitu apa bedanya sama penyimpan lagu yang jauh lebih murah yah? Gak ada bedanya kayaknya siy :D

hehehe...pikiran orang yang gak punya kelebihan duit kali ye? Praktis!
Tapi biar belibet klo ada yang mo ngasih juga diterima koq! hahahah...:D

I guess that's the newest thing about me,
what new with you guys? :)